Posted by: Professor | on September 22, 2012
Your Influence Tactics
How to make people see it your way
Once you teach people to say what they do not understand, it is easy enough to get them to say anything you like.
There are millions of influence tactics you can use on friends, co-workers, and lovers to help them to see things your way, but when it comes to controlling relationships, the real skill lies in who you are. How influential can one person be?
If it’s your goal to become truly influential, then you’ve come to the right place! Influence over someone isn’t so much based on how well you can intimidate them (although this works in many situations). It’s more based on how they perceive you. Why are you someone they should listen to?
A great start is learning how to get into people’s minds. Kevin Hogan’s The Science of Influence: Psychological Triggers is an amazing look into how to use Covert Psychological Triggers. This necessary skill set is what separates those who are good at subtle influence… and those that are truly masters. And he walks you through them and shows you exactly how to do it. Kevin really shows you how to get inside people and figure out ways to help them to help you. When you can instinctually find ways to help people get what they (think they might) want, you can “guide” people in any number of directions.
If you’re a woman dealing with men, there is NOTHING more amazing than Rousing the Lion. In fact, you will find references to this book all over this website because it’s just that good! It will teach you more about using your feminine wiles than years of practice and all the wise old aunts you can find.
How to listen
The reality is that people are more apt to follow you if they feel you have a genuine interest in them. If you’ve met any of the last few American Presidents or A-list celebrities, you will be knocked back by the massive presence they all have. Say what you want about Barack Obama, but in person, he has a charisma that takes all the air out of the room. George W. Bush has an earnest conviction that makes it hard for you to think about any other opinions.
But let’s talk about Bill Clinton. Everyone who has ever had an extensive conversation with him (friend or foe) has noticed his genuine interest in whoever he’s talking to. By listening, he makes you feel important. The man knows empathy and how to make people feel understood.
How can this work in your life? By simply doing one simple thing: listening. If you can truly listen with your full attention (and not just be waiting for your turn to talk), you can make people feel cared for. You can make their opinions valid. You can make them think that you are the most important person they’ve ever met if you can just make them know without a doubt that they are understood.
- Give people your full attention. When it really matters, get rid of all distractions (turn off the TV) and look the person in the eyes. Refuse to let your eyes wander and be 100% in this moment.
- Ask a lot of questions. Get as much information on their concerns as you can. Cover all the angles you can think of.
- Rephrase their concerns. Tell them exactly what you believe they are trying to say in your own words. If you don’t quite have it yet, have them clarify what they are trying to say.
- Work together on a solution. This is where the influence tactics kick in. Now that they know that you “get it,” It’s time to push them in a direction that’s mutually beneficial to the both of you. Once someone feels truly understood, they are way more likely to follow your good advice. This works in any business or sales situation when you are trying to figure out why someone can’t implement your idea or buy your goods. It also works well when trying to get someone’s clothing off…
- Don’t solve, just listen. There will be times when there really is nothing you can fix or the person you are talking to is just getting things off their chest. In these instances, it’s best to just let them talk. This will bind you to them in ways that you can never imagine. Then the only influence tactics and influence techniques you will ever need is your powerful friendship.
Your amazing confidence
Even the most powerful people love to follow every now and again. Most people will listen to any “authority figure” out there. When you say things with genuine conviction and with enough authority, they will follow you.
Of all the influence tactics, this one is the most obvious, yet the hardest to have a grasp on because your “inner monologue” always tends to get in the way. You’re scared you can’t pull it off. You feel like a fraud. You don’t feel you have the right. At the first sign of resistance, you buckle and you haven’t influenced anyone.
Stay with me here. The is an incredible two-punch system to confidence. The first one is the Panic Away System. Before you start freaking out and saying “I don’t have problems with panic, I’m not crazy!” Panic Away is just a name. What this system does is teach you how to talk to yourself. You learn how to delete all negative thoughts from your mind by taking them apart one-by-one and seeing how false they really are. If you have problems with anger, money, guilt, or any other thing in your life that limits you from living an awesome existence, then get this system and train your brain to always do the best possible thing in any situation.
Step two is the Unstoppable Confidence System. You’ve trained your brain to stop being such a downer. Now fill it with a truckload of great ideas, positive thinking, and motivation. I promise you this will be the best money you will ever spend in your life. There is no aspect of your life that these two heavy-hitters won’t make more incredible!
Wait… that was important… gotta rephrase: these two systems used in conjunction will make every single part of your new life amazing, interesting, and most importantly, possible.
The look of influence
Some people just look like they are influential. The opposite of that is also true. Some people just look like nobody ever listens to them. There is a definite psychology behind the way you present yourself and if you are looking for immediate influence tactics, dressing better is a way to make your first impressions, well… impressive.
Who are you trying to impress? If you are trying to impress the ladies, then the clothing you wear absolutely affects how they think about you. Women are naturally drawn to powerful people. This stems back our caveman days. Powerful mates had the resources to insure her babies would survive. If you are a woman trying to impress men, then your clothing has less affect as personal grooming and great skin.
In fact, great skin is one of the purest signs of health and well being. Not many people listen to the person covered in acne. If this is you, then there is something amazing you should check out. Have you ever heard of blue light acne therapy? It sounds too good to work. Introducing TRIA Beauty’s Skin Clarifying System. This amazing technology clears acne fast and stops people from judging you by your spotty skin.
Back to your clothing. If you need specific advice on influence tactics, check out this article on how to dress to impress to really let the people around you know how influential you real are.
We’ve covered the best secret to influence: understanding people and how to automatically look influential, but you came here for influence techniques, so here we go…
Sorry to tell you that there’s no other shortcut to influence than who you are. People with fame and money carry influence whether they want it or not. So if you’re poor and unknown, you’ve got no chance, right? WRONG! This is where the age-old notion of “fake it til you make it” universally applies.
When you act like someone powerful, people think you ARE someone powerful and they listen to you. When people listen to you, you feel powerful and before you know it, you are an influential person. If you don’t believe this works, take a look at Christian Slater. He’s made an entire career acting like Jack Nicholson. At first, that’s all people could say about him. But then they found out he’s not too bad an actor.
How does this apply to you? I’m not proposing you go around acting like Jack Nicholson, but I am suggesting you act like someone entitled. There is a fine line between entitlement and arrogance, so go easy on this one. The key here is to always have the air about you that you are used to the finer things. Be particular in your tastes and never let anyone treat you poorly.
Of all the influence techniques, this is key! Don’t accept bad behavior from the people in your world. If the guy or gal you’re after stands you up for a date, call them on it immediately. Walk away from people who don’t treat you with complete respect. This includes you! If you don’t arrive with a healthy dose of self-respect, then there is absolutely no way you can hope to influence anyone. This is why you need to try the Unstoppable Confidence course…
If you read through this whole website, you hear the same mantra over and over again. You can gain influence on people by using tactics and techniques, but nothing makes you more influential and magnetic than the person you are on the inside. If you believe something sincerely enough, then the people you seek to persuade will believe you too. The stronger you are in your opinions, the more people will follow you unquestioningly.
If you don’t believe this to be true, just follow the current career path of Sarah Palin…